Tuesday, July 24, 2018

A Moving Story


Gateway to the historic part of Monument, Colorado
http://www.coloradospringsweb.com/photo/Monument-CO/historic-monument-gateway-panoramic 

For the past few years, I have struggled with some major difficulties. We all have them. I've come to realize that pretty much everyone is struggling with something difficult. Sometimes really difficult things. Sometimes many difficult things.

I've had very bad migraines the past 15+ years. (Found a large piece of what reduces them to manageable just recently so if you're struggling with daily migraines and no meds seem to help, feel free to reach out.) Recently I added getting divorced. (Not so great for migraines, by the way.) People inevitably change over 30 years and sometimes where they each end up is not compatible with where their spouse ends up. We're friends.

I recently moved from the Denver metro area (Colorado, USA) to Monument (Colorado, USA). I picked it because it's small, has locally owned shops and restaurants, and there are free Wednesday night concerts in Limbach Park. (New band discovered: Dreamfeed... they're amazing).
Limbach Park

And I can do something regularly that was more difficult in suburban Denver: get to trails within ten minutes. Below is a view from trails on Mt. Herman looking eastward...

View from trails on Mt Herman

This experience, especially the move, helped me remember that each time there is a change in our circumstances, we are forced to learn. Many times we don't want to learn... we want things to stay the same. It's easier to coast. But either we learn or we stay stuck.

Learning helps us get back to our path (or change it, intentionally). Staying stuck does not. To survive under change (job change or loss, relationship change or loss), we simply have to allow for learning and the discomfort of instability. Feel the pain and learn and change anyway.


Mt Herman trail view

If you've gone through a difficult change and are willing to share what you learned and how you opened yourself to it, I'd love to read your comments.




2 comments:

  1. So many difficult changes, yet I hope they never stop because I want to keep growing. To quote from one of my favorite novels, “The most important words I can say are, ‘I will do better.’ If I must fall, I will rise each time a better man.”

    One example I can share is when my mom developed dementia – the sudden need to apply for Medicaid (so scary!), her transition to the cognitive unit of a wonderful nursing home (“It’s not a nursing home Mom – it’s a Seniors’ Center, and you live in an apartment just like me!”), preparing for the day when hearing the word “Mom” would trigger her to cry out for her own dear mother (at which point she became “my little Frannie”). Mom and I had never been very close, which was in hindsight probably helpful – my expectations had shallower roots and I could adapt more easily as her condition changed. It was a precious gift to be the one to walk with her through those 8 years, a chance to develop a relationship I’d never had before with someone who, though impaired, retained much of her personality for most of the journey.

    - kl

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  2. Kim, those last years with your mom had to be hard, but as you say, also a gift. I wished for a better relationship with my own mom before she left this world but it didn't happen. I'm so glad that you had that chance.

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